These are just the tableaus that come to mind in your quest for THE Christmas Present. Wild animals down at the candy store. Bumpus Hounds and Black Bart all quiver with fear when they think of you snapping off hip-shots on Christmas morning.

But will the best present that ever graced the under side of a pine tree be there when you tumble down the stairs, pushing your little brother out of the way? Who knows? A nine-year old must be diligent and fight the good fight. With a little luck, you might just make it.